so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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