i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
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