they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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