FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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