i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
