That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
