we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I believe in your delicious
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
