no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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