omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Operation Purity has been aborted
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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