PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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