I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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