My brain says no but my pants say off.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
