you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
