I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
