haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
