great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
