I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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