Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
can u get pink eye on your cock?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
