Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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