In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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