sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I AM VODKA MAN
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize