When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
