I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Shame - the story of my life.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
