in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
