if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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