i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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