at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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