Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
