two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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