Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i was born a porn star she said
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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