are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
