I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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