Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
