the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
