Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
