He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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