It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
