You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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