my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
