Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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