She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
