I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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