Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We left the knife in your bed.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
