mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
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I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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