we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
