are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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