So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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