the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
