update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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