I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I didn't notice because vodka
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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