i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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