Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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