i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
