I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
