I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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