How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
