So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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