Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
