They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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