I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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