I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize