I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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