It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
