Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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